میرا اللہ اور میرے اللہ کے بندے

میرا اللہ بڑا فراخ دل ہے۔ میرے اللہ کے ہاں ہر گناہ کی معافی ہے سواءے شرک کے۔
میرا اللہ اپنے بندوں سے اتنی محبت کرتا ہے کہ اگر کؤی اس کے بندے کا دل دکھا دے تو جب تک اس بندے سے معافی نہیں ملتی، اللہ سے بھی نہیں مل پائیگی۔
میرے اللہ کے بندوں کا معاملہ ذرا مختلف ہے۔ کبھی کبھی تو ایسا بھی ہوتا ہے کہ موت کے بعد بھی ان کے ہاں سے معافی نہیں ملتی۔ اس بات سے بھی دل نہیں پگھلتا کہ اس کے اس ایک عمل سے کسی پر آیا عذاب ٹل سکتا ہے۔ کسی کی زندہ رہتے ہوءے تڑپ ختم ہو سکتی ہے۔
میرے اللہ کا بندہ اپنے آپ کو اللہ سے بڑا سمجھتا ہے شاید۔ جبھی تو وہ اپنا دل بڑا نہیں کر پاتا۔ یا پھر یہ جھجک ہے۔
سب مٹی میں مل جائیگا۔
سب ٹھاٹھ پڑا رہ جائیگا۔
میرے اللہ کے بندوں، مجھے معاف کر دینا۔ جو میں نے نادانی میں دل دکھایا یا کچھ ہونے کے زعم میں، یا پھر انجانے میں۔
میرے اللہ کے بندوں، ایک محبت کی نظر کی بھیک دے دیناایک مسکراہٹ کا صدقہ کر دینا، صرف اور صرف اپنے اللہ کے لئیے۔ کیا پتہ تم جس سے ناراض ہو، وہ اللہ کا محبوب ہو

Pakistan raped on 2nd May 2011

No matter how much I try to digress, deny and pretend that it's all well, it keeps hurting. Pakistan is much like it's daughter "Mukhtaran Mai". It was gang-raped by Zardari and co., Obama and his seals and perhaps OBL and yet the criminals are roaming around freely, stomping on it's bosom. My country still breathes.
After my stay in USA, I fell in love with the country and it's people. The real America, where dreams come true. The American people, majority of whom don't judge you by your religion or appearance (true atleast for Boston), who stand up for the truth. But this is not true for the US government as is known. The number of times they've changed their story about Op Geronimo-EKIA is amazing. But since they are the masters, who has the courage to challenge them. Whatever details are inconsistent or conflicting will be scoffed upon and brushed under the carpet with the label "conspiracy theory".
And then Zardari and co., who think providing an explanation to the Washington Post is all that is required. The Pakistani people, "Ah never mind, they can take anything and everything!". It's true. I for one, don't have the courage to protest consistently (as yet). I dream about starting a hunger strike and then laugh at myself. I don't have the courage Allama Iqbal once prayed for his people to have. Why should I criticize others. I keep on living a full life...

As Iqbal prayed:
جوانوں کو میری آہ سحر دے
پھر ان شاہیں بچوں کو بال و پر دے
خدایا آرزو میری یہی ہے
مرا نور بصیرت عام کر دے

where he asked God to bless his children with wings and his vision; I pray that God accepts his prayer.

My message is love, as far as it reaches.

میرا پیغام ہے محبت جہاں تک پونھچے

Was just browsing different TV channels when 'Anjali' caught my eye. It was in the early 90's that abbu showed us this movie. It's a Tamil movie dubbed in Hindi. The central character is a disabled girl Anjali. They chose the cutest girl on earth to play this character. God! How much I cried and still cry when I hear the song 'Anjali, Anjali'. Abbu, ammi, all of us wept when we watched. The emotional trauma that the family has to go through. The siblings' jealousy because she required attention 24/7. And the most profound effect was Anjali's silent love. The way she expresses it with her little gestures. The way she forgives and embraces everyone. Flawless!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-nGrIHCGOQ&w=425&h=349]

Loneliness

When I was away from Zaf, this was one piece of poetry that used to give me great consolation. It felt like the poet has spoken out what I had in mind. To listen to nature, to open the inner eye, to see what's not obvious and make the most of every phase of life.

Allama Iqbal (The Poet of the East) created this masterpiece in Baang-e-dara. In the silent dark hours of the night when I couldn't sleep, I would just read this, feel the leaves rustling, look at the beautiful stars and thank God for blessing us with the senses to enjoy His creation.

تنہاءی

تنہائ شب میں ہے حزیں کیا
انجم نہیں تیرے ہم نشیں کیا!
یہ رفعت آسماں خاموش
خوابیدہ زمیں، جہاں خاموش
یہ چاند، یہ دشت و در، یہ کہسار
فطرت ہے تمام نستررن زار
موتی خوش رنگ، پیارے پیارے
یعنی ترے آنسوٰٴوں کے تارے
کس شے کی تجہے ہوس ہے اے دل!
قدرت تری ھم نفس ہے اے دل
!

The only expression I could ever think about for this poem was 'گونجتا سناٹا'.

I think when you make a choice, and you find yourself struggling because of it, stop and look around. Find something that can make it, not just bearable, but fun. These are my 2 cents on seeing the half glass full always.

Nostalgia

It was in Al-ain (UAE), in our house that we used to look forward to ammi's chicken curry or 'murghi ka shorba' after school. Me & my brother used to ask ammi to make it once or twice every week and still couldn't get enough of it. Even now when I visit Pakistan, this is the first meal that I want from ammi. Lustrous and colourful curry with succulent chicken pieces served over smoking Matar pulao (Pea pilaf).
Ammi makes it with what's called 'andaza' which is an urdu expression used for instinctive cooking without the burden of weighing and measuring. Ammi absolutely despises tasting during cooking as well. I remember she used to ask me to taste her food.
This time I've tried to write down the proportions in order to share it with you.

MURGHI KA SHORBE WAALA SAALAN (SIMPLE CHICKEN CURRY)

Chicken (bone in) 800gm
Oil 1/4th cup
Cloves 4
Cinnamon 1" stick
Black peppercorns 5
Black cardamom 1 (lightly pounded to release the flavour)
Onion Half of a medium-sized onion
Ginger paste 1.5 tsp
Garlic paste 1.5 tsp
Red chilli powder 1.5 tbsp
Haldi 1 tsp
Salt to taste
Coriander powder 1 tbsp
Beaten yoghurt 2 tbsp heaped
Garam masala powder 1/4th tsp
Hot water Half cup

First cut the onion into large chunks and dip in boiling water for 5 minutes.

Blend the onion with a tbsp of water to a smooth paste.

Now heat oil in a saucepan and add chicken.

Fry on high heat until opaque.

Take out the chicken. Add the whole spices to the hot oil and then the onion, ginger and garlic paste. This is a tricky part. Stir well on high heat until this base is cooked well. If this base is not done well the curry will taste sweet. If overdone, the curry may taste bitter. It took me about 15-17 minutes to get this part done. It depends on how much water is there in your pastes. The colour should be wheatish to light golden at the end of this stage and you shouldn't be able to smell the garlic anymore. Keep adding water to prevent it sticking to the base and burning. One way to tell it's done is that holes start appearing in this concoction and it does not splatter out liquid anymore.

Now add a little water to the pan and then the red chilli powder, turmeric powder (haldi), salt and coriander powder (dhanya). Stir well on high heat. Add the yoghurt, keep stirring and add water every so often to prevent burning.

Once the curry is a pretty orange gold colour with holes appearing in it and the oil separating, add the chicken and mix well.

Add the 1/2 cup water. My mother pours it such that the curry is washed off the surface of the chicken and the edges of the saucepan. Turn the heat to low. Sprinkle the garam masala powder and simmer for 15-20 minutes.

And the result is:

You can decorate it with ginger (julienne-cut) and fresh coriander (chopped). I like it unadulterated. This is how I had it.

Thank you ammi. I can eat this 4 times daily!

2011- The Year of Exams

Just remembered that my MRCP 2 result was expected during this week. Checked it now and yes! Passed. Now ABIM in August and then PACES in November. My husband playfully goes,"Just study in the last 3 weeks. You'll make it, guaranteed!"
And now time for all my friends and family to say, "Such a drama you are!". Better than condolences I guess.
It was the hardest exam I've taken, to date. Finished the 1st 2 papers before time but had about 10 answers left in paper 3 and so just marked them without reading the questions. All I did was 2000 questions in 3 weeks to practice. Followed the Cricket world cup, participated in the heated discussions and facebooked incessantly during the 3 weeks of hibernation. No, I could not finish Sharma, did not see the images so there IS hope out there. Phew!

Thank you God.

On Resuming

This is what a Medical residency does to you. Was it in 2008 that I promised to share my activities with you "soon"?!
Guess am ready now. For now editing the settings. Rest later!